"To be a teacher in the right sense is to be a learner.  I am not a teacher, only a fellow student."  (Soren Kierkegaard)

Adonai had said to Avram, “ לךלך – Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you. “I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.”

But just a few verses down the road the music goes dark and threatening and we will be forced to ask uncomfortable questions about the ties that bind Avram and Sarai.

Now there was a famine in the land, and Avram went down to Egypt to live there for a while because the famine was severe. As he was about to enter Egypt, he said to his wife Sarai, “I know what a beautiful woman you are. When the Egyptians see you, they will say, ‘This is his wife.’ Then they will kill me but will let you live. Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you.” 

When Avram came to Egypt, the Egyptians saw that Sarai was a very beautiful woman. And when Pharaoh’s officials saw her, they praised her to Pharaoh, and she was taken into his palace. He treated Avram well for her sake, and Avram acquired sheep and cattle, male and female donkeys, male and female servants, and camels.

But Adonai inflicted serious diseases on Pharaoh and his household because of Avram’s wife Sarai. So Pharaoh summoned Avram. “What have you done to me?” he said. “Why didn’t you tell me she was your wife? Why did you say, ‘She is my sister,’ so that I took her to be my wife? Now then, here is your wife. Take her and go!” Then Pharaoh gave orders about Avram to his men, and they sent him on his way, with his wife and everything he had. 

What just happened here? Did Avram and Sarai innocently "find themselves in a dangerous neighborhood?” Was Avram's instruction to Sarai ["say you are my sister"] a justifiable lie that was improvised to meet the emergency?

Nachmanides [Rabbi Moshe ben Nachman Girondi; also called Ramban,1194-1270. Born in Girona, Spain] condemns Avram for "committing a great sin" by lying. "He should have trusted that God would save him and his wife and their belongings."

Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch [Germany, 1808-1888] takes up Avram's defense. Avram reasoned that the Egyptians would not treat a brother and sister harshly, but that a married man would be seen as a disposable obstacle  for a king who desired another pretty woman for his harem. Seen in this light, Avram was protecting them both. Add in a bit of lawyerly parsing: Avram is not really lying; after all, he and Sarai share the same father.

These approaches focus on Avram's words [put in Sarai's mouth] but some painful questions remain. Did Sarai have to sign on to Avram's plan? Where is her role in this troubling episode? In his ground-breaking book, Our Fathers' Wells (1995), Peter Pitzele, through his masterful employment of psychodrama meets ancient text, peels away a few layers.

An angry voice of condemnation

This incident with your wife in Egypt is outrageous. You selfish b*stard! You think of nothing more than saving your own skin; your woman is an object to be used in a barter for your life. You don't even wait for her to offer; you don't sit down with her to examine the alternatives...and why? It's obvious. You've become infatuated with this vision you have of siring a great nation and being a household word, and your barren wife isn't going to be able to deliver. So you decide to head on down to Egypt; you fabricate some tale about local customs and likely perils, and you place her in the morally impossible position of either having to say no to you, which is tantamount to consenting to your death, or of letting herself become a hostage, if not a whore, for your safety. And all this, because you have the delusion that God has spoken to you and that you are special.

Avram pushes back
We are driven by a severe famine. My wife and I pass into a land of high civilization and great antiquity. But as we approach the border, I get scared. I believe the Egyptian lords will notice how beautiful my wife is, and want her for themselves. Being no respecters of marriage, they will kill for her... So in the grips of this fear I propose a ruse with Sarai. Sarai understands. She doesn't protest, and if you knew Sarai, you'd know she can speak her mind whenever she needs to. She's no meek, subservient wife. The point is we think no farther ahead than this. The prospect of a season in our marriage when we will live as brother and sister does not overly trouble us, except as it might forestall Sarai in her wish for a child. But we have to survive.

Sarai picks up the thread
So it happened, not by design, not by intention. One day a squad of court guards appeared at the tent and summoned me to a chariot. They silenced Avram with a purse of gold and a spear to block my "brother's" resistance. Quickly gathering a few things - and told I would be given much, so, no need to take anything at all - clutching my small old gods, my amulets, and taking a gasping backward look at my husband, I left and entered another life.

Varieties of Anguish
In a flash, Avram's worst fears are realized. He wishes they had killed him. He hates himself for his cowardice. 

If Avram was just a manipulative, selfish man who played the pimp - he wouldn't feel much distress over her predicament.If Sarai is simply disgusted with Avram, his family, his AWOL god, Pharaoh's advances are a welcome ticket out of Avram's poverty and confused wandering. But if this is a real love story, the abduction of Sarai wounds both Avram and Sarai very deeply. How can Avram sleep at night, knowing that his wife is in Pharaoh's bed? Avram possess new-found wealth, courtesy of Pharaoh. How does it feel to receive this hush money? 

Does it sound far fetched? Do any recent adulterous politicians and the gifts [coincidentally] given to the cuckolded husband come to mind?

If Avram is praying to his God, what words will he share with this God? What about all those blessings you promised? You said you'd protect me! How can I forgive myself?

Sarai lives in the luxurious lies of Pharaoh's court. What does palatial slavery feel like? Why did Avram's god abandon me?

Next week, in parashat vayera, Sarah [name change!] becomes a mother to Isaac [יצחק], whose name means laughter. Who is laughing, and what is the joke about? The kid's life, as you know, will be anything but a laughing matter. But you know, sometimes laughter covers up a terrible darkness, and you swear you can almost feel the anguish.

Scenes from a road trip.